Brian (digibri) wrote,

Meditation memory

This is to record an experience I had about a month ago, so that I won't
forget it.

Sometimes I meditate. I don't meditate "well", nor often, nor even
I suppose I should be more diligent, but at this time I am not. However,
once in awhile, I sit.

Typically, when I meditate I use the method of encouraging my consciousness
to follow my breath. When I exhale, I let my consciousness disperse to the
space around this body; when I inhale I let it return the body. If I find
that I have been thinking, I simply return my attention to the breathing.

I try to let go of my thoughts and ego.

Anyway, about a month ago I was meditating in this manner.

After a time, my perspective shifted and my imagination felt that as I was
releasing my consciousness on the exhalation the grand unified 'things as
they are'* was inhaling my consciousness. My imagination continued
with my inhalation, that rather than drawing my consciousness back to my
body, I was inhaling 'things as they are' inside (as if it was filling the
shell of my body) and that 'things as they are' was exhaling my

After a time, I felt that paired with all my body's exhalations there was a
universal inhalation; and, with all my body's inhalations there was a
universal exhalation. Both my body and 'things as they are' breathed each
other in and out in this way, and yet there really didn't seem to be a
separation. It felt as if some wall had fallen away.

After a little more time, I lost track of which was inhaling and which was
exhaling. My consciousness wasn't focused on my body any longer.

In the end, I became a little confused and floundered a bit...and then I was
done and back to my old ego-laden self.

I do not interpret this as 'good' or 'bad'. I find no reason to place a
value judgement upon it. I merely wish to record it here so that I do not
forget, as I imagine that it is an experience that will prove useful to


* The phrase 'things as they are' is taken from Shunryu Suzuki in
"Not Only So".
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